


FRIENDS

by Viktor21



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Friendship, Friendship/Love, High School, Internal Conflict, Love, Multi, Origin Story, Original Character(s), POV First Person, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 09:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16658477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viktor21/pseuds/Viktor21
Summary: A story from my life about my best friends.





	FRIENDS

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first work and it's about current events with my best friends. I will post new parts every time something substantial happens.

     My existence became so gray and lonely like never before in my life. Moving to another country sounds like a big change, and I felt skeptical about it. I found new friends, but I didn't feel as close to them as the ones I used to have back where I lived. My best friend abandoned me for some girl. I was spending my days doing nothing; I was thinking, playing video games, but I wasn’t entertained by anything. I grew more depressed each day, week, month in that emerald-gray city in Oregon. I missed everyone: friends, family, and people in general. My grades were gradually falling down. I was thinking about moving here as a fresh start, but that didn’t really work out for me. The house I lived in was so empty and gray, I hated every minute spent in it. I had no other choice. I didn’t know where else to go, except the empty square of grass, which they called “a park.” So, I stayed at home trying to bury myself in TV shows and “homework.” I used homework as an excuse to stay in my room all day. Weeks were passing by unnoticed. I was just trying to get through it.

     I was fine with how things were going until we had to move again. We packed our belongings, which still wasn't a lot, and we ran away. We held our way to California because my mother had friends there. I had to go to a new school - start all over again. I didn’t really care, and frankly, I don’t know why. Looking back at it now, I should’ve cared or at least pretended to care. A year full of learning the English language passed, and it hit me, I could actually be good at the entire school thing. This new school was very different. People didn’t care what others thought of them, and I couldn’t understand why. I brought my grades to straight “A”s, I guess that was my way of “hanging out with friends,” except with books. After this year, I still had no one who I could really talk to or express my feelings. Until I met this girl, and that’s when my entire life turned around. 

     At first sight, she was just a girl, who cared about school a little too much. We had a class together, and I didn’t really care that much about her until our teacher asked me to help her. That’s when I really got to know her. She ended up being my friend. The summer came, and we still didn’t really talk to each other except during the summer school. She invited me to her birthday, where she introduced me to her friends, and we got to know each other a lot more. Whenever I think about that birthday party, I start smiling. It was the first happy day since I moved. I started opening up to people more. I started being more extroverted than I could actually handle. I  talked to my new friend more and more, and I really enjoyed it. She helped me so much without even noticing it. But it came with the consequences. The school year started, and I was coming to school mostly to see her. Don’t get me wrong here, I didn’t feel any romantic or sexual feelings for her. I guess what I felt was true friendship, or maybe just a little more than that. Anyway, I had a good time, until this “mysterious” boy appeared out of nowhere.

     I knew him from this one class I had to take for one semester, and he was in it. He didn’t really talk to people. I thought he was good-looking, but I was too scared and stressed out to talk to him. I guess I didn’t know what to say or what to do. He joined the class with me and my friend. I had a second chance now. I tried talking to him, but he didn’t show any interest back. After a few tries, I just gave up as I usually do. My friend is better at talking to people, so when she approached him he changed. I was happy that he’s not sitting by himself anymore. Days were going by and the three of us got closer as friends. I don’t know how that happened, but he started talking to me back. We went out together, and we were becoming very close. Then I realized that they started a relationship. They were my best friends, so I didn’t mind. At the same time, my feelings had a very different opinion on that. I spent days being very cheerful and happy, but nights I couldn’t hold anything any longer. I was fine with it as long as nobody knew about these breakdowns. Inside I still wanted to tell someone. I could tell my best friends anything, except this.

     I realized I was becoming a prisoner of my own feelings. I wanted to do something about it, but to achieve that I would have to spend less time with them. I didn’t want to do it to them or myself. As always, I had to hold it. I’m used to it now, and it still only bothers me during sleepless nights. They have the luxury of not thinking about me, while I don’t. Whenever I think about one of them, the other instantly comes to my mind. Making plans with one of them would always involve the other. They can do everything without me, but I can do nothing without them. I hold myself hostage in this "vicious" cycle of friendship. Sometimes it hurts less, during these days I feel a little more myself, but I never show it. I enjoy having best friends like them, so I’m going to do everything to keep things the way it is, even if it hurts. I am capable of enduring it because my entire social life is built around these two people. They give me confidence and challenge me to try new experiences that I would have never tried otherwise. My life became a roller-coaster of emotions. At least, I can feel something now, and it’s not gray and dull anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading. If you have any questions or concerns please contact me.


End file.
